I knew they wanted to look nice for theLord but it was just too much feminine beauty and finery for me; all Icould seem to think about was sex. Thinking about the women led me tothinking about the men and I'd be in a regular tizzy before the servicewas over. Usually, I'd have to go home and masturbate. Of course, I wasin my teens at the time!In any event, Cindy was one of my best friends, so when she tragicallylost her husband in a car accident, I was there for her. With two youngchildren, a six-year-old boy and four-year-old girl, she needed all thehelp she could get. Cindy worked part-time for almost a year but had togo back full-time to make ends meet. At that point, I began to spendeven more time helping Cindy with the kids. It wasn't long before I feltlike a co-mom: chauffeuring, cleaning, cooking, pick-ups, drop-offs,scheduling, hosting parties, attending parties. It's amazing what modernkids require in the way of a support structure.It takes a long time to recover from such a. Ripping my blouse to shreds, buttons begin to fly and the material flutters to the ground. I bite my lower lip careful not to cry out. A switchblade appears and he pretends to stab me barely missing my cheek and eye, laughing at my pleas and streams of tears. “Stay still or I’ll slice you from fuckhole to fuckhole,” He orders as he presses the blade against the bottom of my sternum under the middle of my thinning bra. Sawing at the straps, he cuts wildly at the wires and brushes my nipples with the tip. He pulls off the garment lifting it just under his nose then takes a big whiff. His nose wrinkles in disgust. He looks at me then tilts his head back. Warm foamy spit sprays onto my face. I gag from the chewing tobacco that runs slowly down my forehead. Bastard. An unwanted and terrible flashback pounces and I suddenly think of my father who spat the same brand onto my face and spanked me with beer bottles. My eyes are closed as I try to guard them from the brown goo that begins to.
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